February 2012
I’ve never lived alone, all on my own before and ill admit it’s not easy.
Last night I slept with bug kitchen knives in my bed with me because I thought I kept hearing my front door even though it was locked of course.
The Guy that lives next door really has me looking over my shoulder because he’s so fucking creepy and I had a nightmare the other night that revolved around...
I don’t think I’ve ever been more paranoid and afraid to be in my own home in my life.
I don’t have a gun, so I slept with two huge kitchen knives last night to ease my anxiety.
Something incredibly bizarre happened to me today.
although I wont go in to full detail, I will say that all my life these kinds of things happen to me.
The thing about it, you never realize what’s actually happened until later in the day.
For example, when my cousin Miranda died I remember the last few moments I spent with her.
Ill never forget the energy and beauty I felt radiating from...
I’m babysitting my friends 2 year old while they attend a funeral.
God only knows the last time I was awake this early.
He’s more interested in playing with my vacuum cleaner than he is in the cartoons I have on for him.
Infact I think I might be more interested in the cartoons than he is.
This is the first time I’ve interacted with such a small child one on one in a very long...
“My flesh and bones are the earth;the earth is my flesh and bones; we are one. My breath is the air; the air is my breath; we are one. My eyes are the light; the light is my eyes; we are one. My emotions are water; water is my emotions; we are one. I am spirit; spirit is me; we are one.”
Its my 3rd night alone in this apartment.
I feel good knowing that we are okay and we were adult enough to make this tough decision as a couple.
But boy it is quiet and weird and dark and empty.
I hardly leave my room when I’m here because I hate looking at the places that matts stuff used to be.
The place that his desk used to be in my kitchen is just one empty dusty corner that I...
“Dreams are the source of creativity. They are expressions of experiences that you are seeking to become real.”
I got a box full of new books today! Can you imagine the fluttering in my heart right now?
I can’t believe how hard it was for me to sleep last night. I can’t remember the last time I tossed and turned so much or felt so restless. Now its 10am and I’m never up this early.
The sunshine is pouring happiness into my window but it does no good. You’re not next to me, when you were here just yesterday.
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Its the first night alone here, my first night sleeping without you next to me in practically a year, the whole place is dark, cause you took all the Christmas lights. That blue glow in the corners of our- er, my room used to feel so homie. Good thing I got Lola next to me. I’ve got candles lit around my room, trying not to loose my mind. He’s coming over to get some more of his stuff tomorrow...
I’ve spent the majority of the day crying or trying not to cry between the few words I’ve been able to speak today. Its not safe to open my mouth because all that comes out is whimpers.
Everything is so silent already, all of your stuff is halfway gone, and I can’t kewpy eyes off the spots your things used to be.
So…straight to the point, my boyfriend moves out today. I’ve been crying for days and today is no acception.
I will come home from work tonight to an empty apartment for the first time in 7 months.
We are still together though which is the only thing keeping me sane right now.
I’m trying to imagine what its gonna be like without him and I can’t keep tears from welling...
“The next time you feel you have to defend something about yourself, ask...”
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“You are alive only in the proportion that you are aware. Awareness is the...”
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“Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than...”
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“People normally cut reality into compartments and so are unable to see the...”
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“I’m not gonna sit around and waste my precious divine energy trying to explain...”
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“The power of imagination makes us infinite.”
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“I dream. Sometimes I think that’s the only right thing to do.”
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“چه گرميم چه گرميم از اين عشق چو خورشيد
How warm are we from this love, like the...”
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“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the...”
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